Archive for Spencer Pratt

Olivia Wilde And Jason Bateman’s Kiss Joins The Parade Of Awkward Celeb PDA

OK, so Jason Bateman and Olivia Wilde’s fish-mouth kiss happened while filming The Longest Week in Brooklyn today, rather than, say, during a romantic date to the aquarium. That being said, that is truly one awkward lip lock. Are we all supposed to be opening our jaws that wide? Have we been doing it wrong this entire time? While we might personally prefer to do our weird, uncomfortable smooching in the privacy of our own homes, we do enjoy cringing at awkward PDAs, provided there are famous peeps involved. With that in mind, please enjoy some of our favorite awkward celeb PDAs. You know they did.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

Heidi And Spencer: “We Were Wrong” About Fame, Fortune And Plastic Surgery

Oh, that hindsight! It sure is 20/20, as former Hills stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are finding out. After all the drama, posed paparazzi pics, fake appendages and Hermes bags, the batty blonds are now broke, unemployed and living with Spencer’s parents in Santa Barbara. They are also surprisingly candid and frank about the mess their antics have landed them in, antics that at one time made them some of the most famous — and loathed — people in America.

In an interview with The Daily Beast, Speidi (ugh, remember how we all bought into that?) spoke words of caution for Snooki and the Snookis of tomorrow. Says Pratt, “What we learned is: You can be too famous.” Other fascinating revelations from the pair:

Their divorce was completely fake (duh.) “We’ve never even been apart,” says Heidi.
They blew all their money on keeping up appearances. Heidi’s music, uh, career, cost them $2 million when all was said and done. “Everything we were doing, we were buying props,” says Spencer. “I bought a big blue monster truck just to drive it on The Hills for an episode. Never drove it again.”
Heidi admits she foolishly thought she could build the same personal brand as Kim Kardashian. She says, “I thought I had that potential. My ego got too big. To think I could be someone like that when I was the most hated girl ever.”
They claim they were mistreated by The Hills production team. Heidi: “I would film with Spencer and then I would film with Audrina. She would get treated like Meryl Streep and we would get treated like the trash.”
Heidi regrets all her plastic surgery (Gurl, you were so pretty before!) and has completely cut herself off from her family.
When you don’t have to listening to his gravely dude-brah voice, Spencer comes across as particularly astute. For example, this quote: “This isn’t a business. That was the big thing I didn’t get: Reality TV is not a career. Anyone who says, ‘Oh, you can have a career in reality’—that is a lie.”

Heidi is currently on VH1′s Famous Foods (apparently she is still attempting the whole ‘career in reality’ thing) while Spencer sits at home with his crystal collection. The entire interview is worth a read — especially if you aspire to be the next big star of Pawn Shoppin’ For Love: All-Stars.

[Photo: GettyImages]

Speidi Teaming Up With Waka Flocka Flame, Blowing Millions On Music Career

Just because Heidi Montag blew millions on her singing career doesn’t mean she’s going to let a little thing like constant failure stop her dreams. “I spent $2 million on my music career, and it didn’t happen for me, and now I have this opportunity,” Heidi explained to RadarOnline. First off, Spencer Pratt teams up with Waka Flocka Flame, who despite all appearances is an actual successful recording artist. As of that wasn’t bizarre enough, Heidi brags that she’ll be working with Eric Nolan Grant, a jazz singer formerly of The O’Jays and a Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame Inductee. The man sang “Love Train” and this is what he’s reduced to!

As for Flocka Flame himself, he’s besties with Gucci Mane, and has collaborated with Lil’ Jon, Wiz Khalifa and a host of other real talent, so we can’t imagine his services come cheap. Or maybe he’s just brushing up for his reality show with Gucci Mane? “Spencer is going into the studio with Waka Flocka Flame, and I requested that his mother Deb Antney meet with me and manage me, because she is just fabulous,” Heidi gushed. We hope that new Maybach was worth the hours of hyena cackles you’re going to have to put up with now, Ms. Antney. “I want to make my own niche in the music world, that’s just Heidi,” Montag fantasizes. “It could be a Pink meets Britney Spears.” Hmm, two artist most popular in 2002 who never really moved on to anything more musically complex? Seems just about right for our girl.

[Photo: WENN]

Report: Heidi Montag Wants To Be On The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills

Just when you thought their time in the spotlight had come to a beautiful end, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are finding new ways to turn the cameras on themselves yet again. Radar Online announced that Montag is in talks to appear on The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills next season. Spencer told Radar he’s hoping they’d both get air time and says “We would move to Beverly Hills in a heartbeat. We would be psyched if this happened for us.” The show will have a blonde hole to fill (ew) since it was announced that Camille Grammer will not be returning to the series, and Montag is meeting with producers this week to discuss her possibilities.

As much as we wish this pair would fade into oblivion, you just know they would boost the ratings of this show, which makes us nervous that this will actually happen. Heidi has to pay off their debts and Spencer’s crystal collection somehow.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Friend Says Heidi Montag Had Crush On Her Plastic Surgeon: This Explains Everything!

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Oh my god. Suddenly it all makes sense. We take it all back. The blow-up doll comments, the beach ball boobs slams and that time we laughed when her face fell off. It turns out, Heidi Montag did it all for love. At least that’s what her doctor’s “close friend” is blabbing to Radar Online. According to the site, Heidi had a hopeless crush on her late plastic surgeon Frank Ryan, who died in a car accident this August. The revelation comes just days after the former Hills star accused Dr. Ryan of misleading her into getting ten surgeries in one day. Maybe all she wanted was one magical day with Dr. Ryan….*swoon*

“I believe she had a crush on him,” Dr. Ryan’s friend Dawn DaLuise said in an interview to Radar. ”I believe she was romantically obsessed with him… she saw him as a night in shining armor.” DaLuise also challenges Heidi’s claim that Dr. Ryan wanted her to be his personal Barbie Doll. According to her, it was the other way around. ”He sent texts and emails to friends saying that she wanted to be a Barbie, she wanted to look exactly like a Barbie. He presented why he didn’t think it was a good idea.”

This raises the age old question: did she love him because of his plastic surgery skills, or did she get plastic surgery because she loved him? Or is this all crap? It’s probably that last one. But let’s pretend it’s not. Suddenly Heidi’s terrifying body transformation seems like a charming romantic comedy come to life! Sort of.

It’s a classic: Heidi was too shy (and too married) to ask him out, so she kept making other excuses to see him. A boob job here, a tummy tuck there. He won’t suspect anything. But after the anesthesia knocked her out, Heidi’s dreams were filled with visions of Dr. Frank. Maybe that whole divorce with Spencer was real after all, and she was going to leave him for Dr. Ryan. Didn’t they reunite right after the doctor’s untimely death?

We have done it. We have cracked The Speidi Code. Or maybe there’s a simpler answer.

[Photo: WENN Images]

Heidi Montag Regrets Plastic Surgeries, Blames Dead Doctor

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With Heidi Montag‘s marriage to Spencer Pratt renewed and no longer a news angle, everyone’s favorite Frankenstein is once more repenting for her cosmetic crimes. “I wouldn’t do it again,” she told Entertainment Tonight about the 10 surgical enhancements she enjoyed earlier this year. Heidi says she regrets her supermega-boobs (technical term) the most, ironic considering she scoured Europe to find someone willing to give her an even ampler bosom last May. “It’s impossible to work out with these boobs,” Heidi said between sobs in August.

As the dead can’t talk back, Heidi’s blaming her late enabler, Dr. Frank Ryan, whom she called “the most amazing person I have ever known…an angel” when he died in August (a week before she announced it was impossible to work out with those boobs), for her poor choices. “It was a lot harder than I was led on by my doctor…I didn’t know how excessive it really was.” Guess she still hasn’t forgive Ryan for taking the secrets of her giganta-gazangas (again, these are technical terms) with him on his ill-fated, tweet-tainted final drive.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Speidi Porn: Not Just For Spiderman Anymore

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Wanna see a Speidi Sex Tape? No? Well that’s good, because you can’t. But the next best (or is it “worst?”) thing may be hitting back-room shelves very soon. Vivid Entertainment has reportedly approached Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag to direct their own line of pornographic videos. Which is good, because their own perfume line would just be too tasteful.

TMZ has obtained a letter sent to the couple from Steven Hirsch, the head of the adult film production company. Do you recognize that name? You should, because that’s the same brain pushing for a Kanye West-Taylor Swift inspired porn parody. Now he wants Spencer and Heidi to “explore [their] wildest fantasies” on film. This guy is on a roll. We’d shake his hand, but we don’t know where it’s been.

“We are offering you the chance to direct, as a couple, a series of explicit, XXX features for Vivid entitled Spencer and Heidi…Beyond Our Wildest Dreams,” he writes in the letter. “The fantasies will be yours…We believe that your ability to keep a relationship exciting and fresh-which you must surely bring to the bedroom…will yield an exciting new line of features as unexpected and as erotic as your fans know you to be.”

Dude, don’t be so fawning. If they’re as broke as they say, they’d probably do it for a couple bags of energy crystals. Besides, Speidi’s idea of keeping a relationship “exciting” seems so much more like “petty attention-grabbing trickery” to us. Sounds like these are going to be like skin flicks directed by N. Night Shyamalan. Whoa, crazy twist: she was a blowup doll all along!

[Photo: Splash News Online]

Spencer And Heidi May Move To Costa Rica! Rejoice!

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We don’t know what to believe with these two anymore, because really, how much more fake can fake get? The Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s divorce: fake. Heidi’s body: fake. The fact that Spencer is a human being: fake. Do you see what we’re getting at?

The question at hand now: is Speidi really broke? If, and that’s a big if, reports are correct, then the couple owes about $2 million in back taxes. Probably because Spencer was too busy buying every crystal on the planet. (Remember Spencer’s crystal phase? We wish we didn’t.) And if they’re bankrupt, then this news should be a life saver for them. And… for us (cue parade music).

A betting website called YouWager.com have offered Heidi and Spencer $100,000 to “manage the odds and lines surrounding the entertainment sector – ranging from celebrity news and pop culture to music and movies.” Which means they would actually have to work, and apparently, Spencer’s considering the offer. We’d like to offer assistance with anything that would help them say yes.

The piece de resistance? They would have to move to Costa Rica for awhile. Speidi… TAKE.THE.JOB. Take the damn job.

[Photo: WENN]

A Collective “Duh” Fills The Air As Speidi Admits They Faked Divorce To Get Reality Show

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In news that will only shock and scandalize the grandmas of the world, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag admit they faked divorce proceedings in the hope of getting a British reality show. The couple’s decision to fake-destroy man’s most sacred bond corresponded conveniently with an offer from British TV network ITV to cover the split, prompting them to move to Costa Rica, ostensibly so they could shoot scenes without passerbys constantly booing them. Says Spencer, “The divorce was real – just the idea behind it was different than most people’s.” These two can get married and gay couples can’t, everybody. Think about that next time you vote.

Unfortunately for…well, no one actually, the TV offer fell apart and Speidi were stuck with their dumb ol’ functional relationship…and not much else. Explained Spencer, “Divorcing was the only way to keep Heidi’s career going because everyone hated me so much. Look at Sandra Bullock – her divorce from Jesse James was the best thing to happen to her image.” Right, it wasn’t the years of popularity, dozens of films or the OSCAR FOR BEST ACTRESS that boosted her image; it was her husband screwing around with a neo-Nazi nudie model. The difference between Sandra and Heidi, however, is that Bullock eventually dumped the scumbag. Something to think about, both of you. Something to think about, America.

Spencer And Heidi Are Bankrupt, Karma Is Real

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Well, they faked divorce papers, we’re sure they can fake this too. The elaborate performance piece that Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag call their marriage has shifted into a new scene, and this one involves bankruptcy. According to Life and Style, the former Hills stars have blown $10 million, and now owe $2 million in back taxes. They are currently homeless and in talks with financial attorneys (or at least a guy hired to play one).

“We were immature, worrying too much about the famous part instead of the actual business part,” Spencer told Life & Style, earning him the world record for the longest time it took for someone to get a clue. “In hindsight, we shouldn’t have spent any of our money. We should have been low-key and saved.”

Instead they splurged on a $35,000-a-month love nest, six cars, private jets, magic crystals, and making Heidi’s breasts big enough to be recognized by the UN as an independent nation. Now the couple are holed up in Spencer’s parent’s house to plan their next move. Heidi was even considering appearing fully nude in Playboy, but chose not to at the request of the Pratt family.

According to Spencer, their problems -like so many in this world- are because of Jersey Shore. “We thought The Hills was going to be like 90210 and we’d have another five to 10 years. The ratings were consistent. But we never saw Jersey Shore coming. Before, TV audiences were fine with seeing us all argue, but now they want you to punch one another in the face and hook up with three different people. Our cast was a bit boring and snoozeworthy in comparison. No wonder we got canceled.”

But Spencer mans up and takes his share of the responsibility. ”We don’t want sympathy. We did this to ourselves and feel like idiots. But we’ve grown up and are definitely not as naive anymore.” Honestly, there’s so much drama around these two we don’t know what’s real anymore. Is it possible for a marriage to jump the shark? Because we think it just did.

[Photo: WENN Images]