Archive for Mick Jagger

When Biggies Date Smalls: Celebrity Couples With Hilarious Height Differences

Remember when Aaliyah sang “Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number”? Well, these celebrity couples of past and present are intent on showing us that the same thing goes for height. From basketball stars towering over their significant others to models and their shorter male counterparts, these couples prove that size does not matter. Although some have moved on while others are still going strong, these stars seem to know how to make it work when it comes to a vertical challenge. Here is a list of 25 celebrity couples, ranked in order of their height differential, that leave us scratching our heads, thinking “How do they do that?”

[Photos: Getty Images]

David Bowie Responsible For World Credit Crisis

And we’re not joking. UK paper The Mirror has led with a serious financial story today laying the blame for the worldwide recession at the door of the Jean Genie/the Thin White Duke/Ziggy Stardust/Jared The Goblin King From Labrynth (delete as to your favorite Bowie phase). Apparently, David Bowie invented something called “securitisation” back in 1997, where he produced bonds so investors could earn his royalties over the years, in exchange for him having all the cash up front.

“And the banks were catching on to the idea. They thought, ‘We have billions out there in mortgages which are going to pay us back very slowly. Why don’t we sell those and get the money now?’ So the banks started doing what Bowie had done — in a big way,” writes the paper.

Fast forward a decade or so and we’re all in a big pile of economic crap now. Thanks, Dave. Next week we explain why Mick Jagger invented the Internet and why Bono is actually responsible for world poverty. Hey, it could happen… [Photo: Getty Images]

#96: The Myth That Mick Jagger Ate Candy Out Of Marianne Faithful’s Vagina

Nowadays the Rolling Stones look like something out of The Nightmare Before Christmas. In 1967, though, the “Gimme Shelter” rockers were Public Enemy No. One, thanks to their affinity for sex and drugs. It was only a matter of time before the cops came knocking. Following a tip-off from the tabloid press, 20 police officers raided Keith Richards‘ Redlands estate in England. Richards and Mick Jagger were charged with possession of LSD and other narcotics, but the raid became legendary for a candy bar involving singer Marianne Faithful.

Cops on the scene swore they interrupted Jagger eating a Mars Bar wedged into his girlfriend’s holiest of holies before hauling him away for possession. “A cop’s idea of what people do on acid!” sniffed Faithfull, denying all in her autobiography. Even so, the story remains one of rock’s most celebrated myths. — Charles Bottomley