Sometimes our days are filled with reporting on interesting news stories, salacious scandals and national moments of crisis and culture. And then there are the days like today when we head on over to Us Weekly only to discover them flaunting an Exclusive! Story! about Jessica Simpsonfarting in a meeting. Ser-i-ous-ly.
We’re not sure what’s more ridiculous - Us making a story out of something we’ve already done like, five times this morning, or the fact that they’ve called it an exclusive. Their brave source who endured J-Simp’s alleged gas blast offered up this riveting take of what went down (or out, rather): “While one of the executives was speaking in a room full of five people, Jessica let out a very loud fart. Her mother [Tina Simpson] was there, and it prompted her to turn around and yell, ‘Jessica!’ The tension was extreme. No one knew what to say.”
A loud fart! A yelling mom! Extreme tension! Surely even journalists embedded with our troops in Iraq have never experienced a moment so powerful or poignant. Idiotic reporting aside, we’re gonna add this to our list of things we love about Jessica. Unlike most of the chain-smoking, self-important divas roaming around Hollywood these days (we see you, Taylor Momsen), the girl posts videos of herself using ear wax candles on her Twitter account and frequently steps out without makeup, looking lovely. We like that she might have blasted one out in a meeting, and she sounds exactly like the kind of girl we’d like to hang out with over a beer or five (yes, we’re not-so-secretly are on a mission to make Jess our BFF).
Jessica Simpson may be taking time away from her country music career, but judging from her outfit at last night’s Extraordinary Measures premiere in Hollywood, she hasn’t lost that country style; her shoulder-padded suit-jacket over see-through black turtleneck and leggings gave us serious Designing Women flashbacks.
Hope this wasn’t meant to impress professional collaborator Billy Corgan—not all black ensembles are goth. Also attending the premiere were stars Brendan Fraser, Kerri Russell and Harrison Ford, who was joined by fiancee Calista Flockhart. Check out what they wore in the gallery below.
Brittany Murphy passed away and Hollywood is shocked at the news. Many celebrities have reacted to the tragic news, taking to their Twitter to offer sympathy and express their sadness:
Alicia Silverstone: “I always felt connected to her as we shared a very special experience in our lives together. I feel love in my heart for her – and hope she is at peace. This is truly sad.”
Jessica Simpson: “Brittany Murphy was an incredible ray of Light to so many people. Her smile was contagious. My prayers are with her family and loved ones.”
Ashton Kutcher: “2day the world lost a little piece of sunshine. My deepest condolences go out 2 Brittany’s family, her husband, & her amazing mother Sharon.”
Lindsay Lohan: “My deepest condolences go out to all of Brittany Murphy’s loved ones& may she rest in peace….She was a great talent w/a beautiful soul xo”
Holly Robinson Peete: “Brittany was so sweet when I met her. Flew to Vegas together once – I remember her mom being lovely. My condolences to all of her loved ones”
While 2009 started on an optimistic note, the year probably won’t go down as one of America’s finest—what with all the wars, economic crises and political gridlock and everything. Despite all this serious business, we still found plenty of time to pay attention to the antics of celebrities big and small—a little too much attention, on occasion. Here are ten controversies that, while treated like big deals at the time, we probably won’t tell our grandchildren about.
Oh noes! Michael Phelps smoked pot!
There were already signs Olympic hero Michael Phelps was not without his vices—that stripper he dated, for instance—but that didn’t keep people from being outraged when a photograph revealed that the swimmer not only knew what a bong was, but actually used one at a party! Despite apologizing, Phelps was suspended from swimming for three months and Kellogg dropped him as a spokesperson, not wanting their munchies to be associated with marijuana use. Phelps was back breaking records and winning medals by summer’s World Aquatic Championships—but with his drug use now a matter of public record, he’ll never grace the front of a Frosted Flakes box again.
Oh noes! Christian Bale got mad on a movie set!
Holy tirade, Batman! Christian Bale became an Internet laughingstock after NSFW audio of the Dark Knight star tearing into cinematographer Shane Hurlbut leaked from the set of Terminator: Salvation. While friends tried to explain how distracting it is for a crew to work on lighting during a scene, webheads couldn’t keep from wedging “Ohhhhh, goooood for you!” and “F— sake, man, you’re amateur!” into everycliptheycould. The giggles had mostly died down by the time Public Enemies came out, but we still can’t see the guy without yelling “NO!!! NNNOOO!!!”
In the sex-recycling ways of Hollywood, this rumored coupling is inevitable but oh-so-uninspiring. Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler have reportedly been hooking up at NYC’s Soho House, “laughing and flirting” together (although alongside Jess’s sidekick hairdresser Ken Paves. Awkward!).
Although the plain-speaking Scot and airheaded Texan would seem to have little in common, they’re already connected by his rumored ex Jennifer Aniston who dated John Mayer who dated Jess. So they’ve practically done it already! [Photo: WENN]
Ashlee and Jessica Simpson took enough time off from their busy filmingschedules to pose next to a precariously balanced cupcake tree at Ash’s 25th birthday in Vegas this weekend. While Jessica chose to hide her bikini behind flowing, see-through fabric, happily-married-to-a-toadstool Ashlee showed no such modesty.
Check out some snaps of the festivities in the gallery below.
We have long since stopped envying the billions of celebrity women who’ve passed through John Mayer’s revolving bedroom door, and now his latest quote has made us even more grossed out. “I have great balance and co-ordination. Inventiveness. I am a very inventive lover - that’s the secret to my success,” he’s reportedly said.
Jessica Simpsonhad to come to grips with the fact that her Maltipoo, Daisy, who was snatched by a coyote last week, was gone. It’s not easy to lose a pet, but we can only imagine the horror she felt when she actually watched Daisy get scooped up by a wild animal, so it’s no surprise that she’s taking the loss pretty hard. Daisy was like a child to Jessica, getting pampered left and right, eating steak, taking naps, traveling to more places than we’ll ever go in our lifetime, and friends are saying that Simpson is not doing well and is missing Daisy terribly.
Several of Simpson’s friends have talked to Peopleabout her current state of mind and though they are all concerned, some are more dramatic than others. Says one friend, “It’s going to put her into a tailspin. It will put her into the worst place ever,” while another pal is more optimistic, saying “She’s really upset, but she’s not spiraling out of control by any means. She’ll get through this but it is like losing a family member. She’s focusing on work and spending time with her family and friends.”
Ugh, it’s one thing to mourn the loss of you beloved pet (not to mention having to deal with a well-publicized break-up) and it’s another to have multiple friends discuss your mental state over it. We’re sure she will be just fine. [Photo: GettyImages]
Kelly Osbourne is throwing caution (and credibility) to the wind, by allowing herself to be the focus of a reality show again. Despite saying she was “completely and utterly miserable” during the filming of The Osbournes, Kelly and her look-alike boyfriend Luke Worrall have agreed to be followed by MTV cameras for the next three weeks chronicling their “chaotic home and work life as they plan their wedding”. Gah.
“Kelly is TV gold. We’ve been wanting to do something with her for ages…She is just the type of person we want on our channel - she’s young, smart and knows how to party,” a source told the Sun.
Kelly and Luke will be following in the footsteps of other couples who’ve allowed the cameras to follow their daily lives: Nick and Jessica, Whitney and Bobby, Britney and K-Fed. Oh. Good luck with that one. [Photo: Splash News Online]
“It got to the point where that’s all she’d talk about. She would speak to him all the time about buying an engagement ring. Even in public. Jessica expected it last Christmas. Then she thought she would get one for New Year’s Eve. And when by Valentine’s Day it didn’t happen, the tension between them became explosive,” a source says.
Apparently the $h*t hit the fan the night before her birthday when, “Tony warned her that he wasn’t ready to buy a ring. They had a massive fight and Tony cut the cord for good.”
So what do you think is the real reason behind their breakup? John Mayer’s texts, Jessica’s dad meddling in their affairs, or the engagement ring drama??? [Photo: Getty Images]
