Levi Johnston isn’t the only teen parent who wants a piece of the celebrity action. Bristol Palin will be making her television debut soon on an upcoming episode of ABC Family’s The Secret Life of the American Teenager. (So much for Sarah Palin’s complaint that the media focuses too much on her kids - this time the Palins are bringing it on themselves.)
On the show, Bristol will play herself, or at least a fictional version of herself who is friends with the show’s protagonist, a girl who is also a teen mother. She said in a statement “I am thrilled to be on this show and to be part of a program that educates teens and young adults about the consequences of teen pregnancy.” We’re hoping Bristol gets a longer story arc where she can cover issues like how to handle the father of your child after he’s gone rogue and compulsively wants to show off his fine physique to a nation of curious onlookers.
Levi Johnston may be famous—kinda—but he certainly isn’t rich. The Playgirl model and thorn in Sarah Palin’s side is fighting babymama Bristol Palin’s request for $1,750 a month in child support, admitting in court documents that while he made over six figures in 2009, he never roped more than $10,000 annually beforehand, and may only make twenty five grand in 2010. It’s not like Levi can expect fifteen minutes of fame every year—dude didn’t even score that Desperate Housewives cameo.
“Johnston’s viability as a media figure is too speculative to access at this juncture,” says the admirably humble legal filing for a guy who calls himself ‘Ricky Hollywood.’ “Levi Johnston stands before this court as a 19-year-old with good hopeful for an entertainment career but the chances of increased income are as unknowable as it would be for any young person working his way into the entertainment industry: not particularly good.” Still wanting to provide for lil’ Tripp, Johnston says he’ll to give 20% of his 2009 payday and provide quarterly income reports to Bristol—so the Fox correspondent’s daughter can better decide how much to bleed him for.
While 2009 started on an optimistic note, the year probably won’t go down as one of America’s finest—what with all the wars, economic crises and political gridlock and everything. Despite all this serious business, we still found plenty of time to pay attention to the antics of celebrities big and small—a little too much attention, on occasion. Here are ten controversies that, while treated like big deals at the time, we probably won’t tell our grandchildren about.
Oh noes! Michael Phelps smoked pot!
There were already signs Olympic hero Michael Phelps was not without his vices—that stripper he dated, for instance—but that didn’t keep people from being outraged when a photograph revealed that the swimmer not only knew what a bong was, but actually used one at a party! Despite apologizing, Phelps was suspended from swimming for three months and Kellogg dropped him as a spokesperson, not wanting their munchies to be associated with marijuana use. Phelps was back breaking records and winning medals by summer’s World Aquatic Championships—but with his drug use now a matter of public record, he’ll never grace the front of a Frosted Flakes box again.
Oh noes! Christian Bale got mad on a movie set!
Holy tirade, Batman! Christian Bale became an Internet laughingstock after NSFW audio of the Dark Knight star tearing into cinematographer Shane Hurlbut leaked from the set of Terminator: Salvation. While friends tried to explain how distracting it is for a crew to work on lighting during a scene, webheads couldn’t keep from wedging “Ohhhhh, goooood for you!” and “F— sake, man, you’re amateur!” into everycliptheycould. The giggles had mostly died down by the time Public Enemies came out, but we still can’t see the guy without yelling “NO!!! NNNOOO!!!”
Hey, if you’d knocked up the daughter of the Alaskan Governor and posed for Playgirl, you wouldn’t have time to waste in airport lines either. Page Sixreports that Levi Johnston refused to spend any of his 15 minutes of fame in line with passengers at JFK airport. “He then made a big show of getting on first,” says their spy. “He was seated in the front row of first class, looking like he was born to be there and waiting for some recognition. Jason Alexander was quietly sitting behind him.” Ironic, since Alexander’s already proven himself as a pin-up star.
Gawker, whose inaugural Fleshbot Awards Johnston was nice enough to attend, believes the New York Post has it in for Johnston after he snubbedPage Six’s Richard Johnson at the aforementioned ceremony. We’ll admit their scoop’s final sentence reeks of resentment (”We wish Levi would just zip it up and head back to the Alaskan oil fields”), so how about a compromise: the Post is dumping on Levi, and he’s a clueless egomaniac who needs to go see his kid already.
Looks like we won’t be seeing Levi’s Johnston after all. Playgirl has confessed that nude photos of Sarah Palin’s eldest daughter’s babydaddy Levi Johnston will not feature his genitalia as promised. “He did not give ‘full frontal’ as his manager Tank (Jones) reported he would,” the mag’s rep told the Daily News. “We’re thrilled with the photos we got, and are confident people will love them, but although there may be glimpses, we did not get full on frontal nudity.” Glimpses! We’ll settle for that.
One person who won’t be impressed with Johnston’s sudden modesty is once-would-be-mother-in-law Palin, who told Oprah she’s not into his “aspiring porn” career. “Some of the things that he’s doing, it’s kind of heartbreaking. I call it porn, yes. So, a bit heartbreaking to see the road that he is on right now.” This from a governor who quit her job to do a publicity tour. Besides, according to Jones, his managee is into art, not porn. “He came in this world naked. So, all of a sudden, it’s dirty to take your clothes off?” he asked Playgirl. “It depends on what you do once you take your clothes off.” We’ll find out just what Johnston did when the pics come out this weekend.
Sarah Palin so doesn’t need this crap. There she is, trying to juggle her job as governor, a young baby, her daughter’s baby and plans for a potential 2012 presidential campaign…all from Alaska. She so doesn’t need Levi Johnston, the estranged babydaddy of grandson Tripp, going on The Tyra Banks show with his distraught family. It’s hard to sell yourself as a caring, good ol’ gal when the other grandma—up on drug charges—is bawling about her heartbreak on TV (she can’t even get photos of the baby! Aww!).
Between that and Levi suggesting Sarah knew he was giving daughter Bristol his pistol (”moms are very smart”), it’s no wonder the governor’s statement on the matter is harsh:
We’re disappointed that Levi and his family, in a quest for fame, attention and fortune, are engaging in flat-out lies, gross exaggeration, and even distortion of their relationship. Bristol’s focus will remain on raising Tripp, completing her education, and advocating abstinence. It is unfortunate that Levi finds it more appealing to exploit his previous relationship with Bristol than to contribute to the well being of the child.
Translation: Sarah Palin so doesn’t need this crap…and it’s not going to stop anytime soon.
“It was mutual,” comedian Bill Hicks once said about a break-up. “She said ‘we’re breaking up’ and I said ‘…ok.’” We couldn’t help but think of that joke as Levi Johnstonmumbled to Good Morning America from inside his pick-up about his split with fiance/babymama/Republican National Convention date Bristol Palin. “[The decision to break up was made by] both of us. Something about me not being mature enough…and having a kid…think it’d be better for us to separate for a while.” You mutually decided you weren’t mature enough? Rrrright.
While Johnston denied the claims that he’s being kept from seeing infant Tripp (he says Star’s “she thinks we’re white trash” quotes from his sister were misheard on an airplane), the GMA reporter noted that the only photos of Tripp in the pick-up were of the ultrasound. If Levi is spending quality time with the baby, he should probably get that kid to a Wal-Mart photo shop already.
Keeping up the “my dumping was mutual” cliche, Johnston still hopes to marry Bristol once he’s gained that adult wisdom she apparently now craves. “We’ll see what happens. I mean—I’d like to get back together with her. I don’t know what she’s thinking, but one day—whatever happens happens.” Just don’t show up drunk at the governor’s mansion screaming her name, bro. You know her parents are armed.
Scandal update from Wasilla, Alaska! Apparently Governor Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol has dumped her baby daddyLevi Johnston for being beneath her and the Palin clan, and is refusing to let him near their newborn son Tripp.
Levi’s sister Mercede is capitalizing on the situation (smart girl!) and spilled all to Star magazine. “Levi tries to visit Tripp every single day, but Bristol makes it nearly impossible. She tells him he can’t take the baby to our house because she doesn’t want him around ‘white trash!’” Bristol won’t even allow him to watch the baby for a few hours — unless he’s babysitting.”
Mercede goes on to say that the Governer has gotten in on the act, and that she’s “lost lots of respect for her.” As she should! We thought the Palins whole deal was that they embraced their trashiness - huntin’ wolves, mutterin’ “aw shucks” and “gosh darn” and shoppin’ at Wal-Mart. It sounds like Bristol might be sipping lattes and chomping on arugula as she nurses her baby. What would Joe the Plumber think?! [Photo: GettyImages]
You honestly could not make this stuff up. Bristol Palin, the daughter of almost-Vice President Sarah Palin, caused a stir this summer when she revealed that she was pregnant with her first child. Now her baby-daddy, Levi Johnston, is back in the news, after his own mother was arrested on drug charges - the day before her grandchild is due to be born. Sorry Governor, but we know who the fun grandma is gonna be!
Sherry Johnston, 42, was busted on six felony counts of misconduct during an “undercover narcotics investigation” that took place at her house. The Anchorage Daily News reveals that state troopers “charged Johnston with second-degree misconduct involving a controlled substance — generally manufacturing or delivering drugs — as well as fourth-degree misconduct involving controlled substances, or possession.”
Sherry was released on $5000 bail, so hopefully she can be present when her grand-kid is born! Palin’s staff had no real comment of course, but might we suggest, “Aw shucks, she’s just bein’ a real American, yah know?” [Photo: GettyImages]
