The Woz Cha-Chas Awkwardly Into Our Hearts

Last night we popped our Dancing With The Stars cherry, and we’re glad we waited and saved ourselves for Apple billionaire Steve Wozniak and his boa-filled cha-cha-cha. Please America, don’t vote the Woz man off – he is the Obama of vapid reality TV. Yes he can (dance terribly)! Other highlights included:

Lil Kim (aka “black Barbie”) and her nicely refined face. It seems her plastic surgery has finally settled into her skin. Dare we say she looked good?
Denise Richards‘ crying. Because, you know, we love seeing crazy, washed up actresses suffer.
Steve-O 2.0 - We want the former Jackass to win it all, just because he’s a year sober, which is awesome in and of itself. He should totally fall in love with his dancing partner too, just to really solidify his new, g-rated image.
Jewel‘s husband – Ho.Ly.Crap. We didn’t realize robots could ride in the rodeo, but Ty Murray has proven us wrong. Look for him to multiply and take over the earth the second he’s kicked off the show.

We’ve got pics of the DWTS cast before they hit the stage below. Lil Kim in a robe? Yes please!

◄ Back

Next ►

Picture 1 of 8