In the latest example of Hollywood’s total disassociation from reality, Kristen Bell has just been cast as the young mom of a precocious ballet dancer…who happens to be twelve years old. The 30-year-old Veronica Mars star will reportedly appear in the upcoming black comedy Dance of the Mirlitons as a ruthless stage mom. Meanwhile sources say filmmakers are currently in the midst of a “nationwide casting search for a young actress to play a precocious 10 to 12 year old.” So, Bell’s daughter would be at least a third of her age. What is this, a Lifetime movie?
Gushes producer Daniel Dubiecki, “Kristen’s combination of comedic timing and authenticity will bring this character to the next level, and give this crossover appeal.” We couldn’t agree more with that; this role sounds like one Bell can actually sink her teeth into (No offense, When In Rome). What we can’t really picture, however, is how they’re going to explain the fact Bell must have given birth in A.P. chemistry class to have a kid that age.
Now, we’re all used to actresses barely over 35 playing Mother to teenage children (Amy Poehler‘s fun mom in Mean Girls, anyone?), but it still icks us out to see one so young we practically need file a police report for even thinking about when her kid was conceived. Besides, even if we forget about Kristen’s age, there is still her cherubic face, which makes her look much younger than many actresses her age. You cast Lindsay Lohan as the grandpa in “Little Miss Sunshine,” no one would have batted an eye. But Kristen Bell as mama to a tween? She barely looks old enough to drive! We’re already looking forward to Dance of the Mirlitons 2, featuring Miley Cyrus as the proud, self-sufficient single mother of Dakota Fanning. Wait…if we closed our eyes and only listened to them talking, that might actually work…. [Photo: Getty Images]
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6 Responses to “Kristen Bell To Play Youngest MILF In The World”
You do know that Dakota and Miley are only a year apart, right?
Tyler, I think that was kind of the point.
Well, being 30 with a 12 year old daughter, Kristen would have been 18. Not at all abnormal, though her not looking her age I think is more the point. Hard to believe Kristen is 30 and looks so young as she does.
Halle Kiefer,
You’re a bit of an idiot, aren’t you? Do you realize that 18-year-olds are completely capable of having children? Does it “ick you out” to see life happening? Seriously, what kind of weird sick world do you live in that you have never heard of an 18-year-old giving birth? Do you also know that females are capable of giving birth at much younger ages? You should perhaps read a biology book, or if that’s too complex, try Judy Blume.
P.S. The really insanely stupid and ridiculous part in your article, Halle Kiefer, is that you actually call an 18-to-20-year-old being able to give birth “the latest example of Hollywoods total disassociation from reality.” Seriously, are you even sane? Have you lived in the human world for any length of time? You should perhaps see someone about your weird repressive delusions. Were you raised in some sort of spooky household where you’re not allowed to mention your “delicate parts” and speak of reproduction as someone’s “embarrassment”? You are frankly creepy and bizarre, and you should never write any more, because you’re stupid too, and bad at math.
P.P.S. Kristen Bell is the awesome and I’m sure she’ll rule the part.
Your needlessly mean swipe at Lindsay Lohan is obnoxious, but you logic in decrying Kristen Bell in this role is beyond comprehension. A 30-year old with a 12-year old daughter not only isn’t abnormal, it isn’t even illegal. Idiot.