When we look at all the mistakes we have made in our lives (and there have been SO MANY!!!), one of the most obvious has been our unintentional neglect of the diva known as Linda Hogan. Made famous as the wife of Hulk Hogan (who is also engaged) on Hogan Knows Best, Linda stole our hearts with a blindingly blue-white smile and a quick mascara-caked wink. Days, even weeks, go by without us sitting upright in bed, covered in sweat and wondering what Linda Hogan is doing right that second. And for that we are truly sorry. So today, in addition to sending out that hearty apology, we would like to congratulate Linda on her recent engagement to her fiancé Charlie Hill, who looks like a male clone of Linda created of herself. Any woman should be so lucky!
In celebration of this happy event, we would like to expound on some of the things that make Linda the epic diva she truly is:
- She appears though she was molded out of orange Play-Doh, like a beautiful peacock made out of lumps.
- She has the gumption to stick to her particular type of highly inappropriate boy toy: bleach blond, hyper tan, and younger than her own biological offspring.
- She has a boat named the Alimoney (?!?!?@#$^&!*@!), on which she is getting married next summer to her 21-year-old fiancé. Who used to be her son’s best friend. And is 21.
She has a boat named the Alimoney on which she is getting married next summer to her 21-year-old fiancé. Did you not read that the first time? That is all we need to know! To be fair, her fiancé looks like he is 21 going on 63, and that’s on a good day. Linda’s daughter and Future Cougar Brooke Hogan has said about her mother’s November-January 1 relationship: “I personally don’t like it at all or condone it, but she’s my mom, so I have to show her support. I went to school with him. He was a grade under me. Me and Nick know him well.”
Look, Brooke, sometimes divas (that are also your mom) make decisions that make average people like us say, “Oh God, why?” And yes, while marrying her son’s friend does kinda make Linda her own grandpa, we have to accept that divas are like beautiful comets. They are with us for only a short time, expelling gas and dust into the atmosphere until they crash onto South Beach. At this rate, we believe Linda has the goods to easily become a Coco-level celebrity in our eyes, and we are happy to give her a leg up. Even if it means having to go to the dry-cleaner to get all the bronzer off of our pants.
Comments
23 Responses to “Linda Hogan Engaged, Planning Classiest Cougar Wedding Of The Century”
i hear he wants to marry her stay a while divorce her and walk away rich .
My god…she looks like a 5 year-old. When will she dress like a woman of her age? Never, apparently because she’s marrying the guy now. (Rolling eyes)
Linda made the biggest mistake going out with Brooke’s friend. i wouldn’t talk to my mom ever again if she did that to me.i don’t think she should marry him,Linda needs to think about her family first.
I heard he wants to marry her stay a while then divorce to her and walk away get rich .
Heather you’re dumb serious. you life in no way compares to theirs. Yes they are ridiculous but who really gives a rats (+^(~~!$*^()#+_ how they live their lives. As long as they aren’t parading around with underage children let the weirdos meet whoever they want.
Are you kidding me??WTF is she thinking.Dating a younger man a bit closer to your age is 1 thing.To rob the cradle with a boy your kid’s went to school with is just pathetic.Has she really gone that far off the deep end of reality.Her old )*($!!%_%!_#+`! acting like she’s still some young hot chick.Thank god for her there’s plastic surgery.Those boob’s get bigger every time I see her.And so does her )*($!!%_%!_#+`! Funny how he look’s like a younger version of Terry Hogan.She’s trying to relive her glory day’s when she was a hottie and The Hulkster was at the top of his game as a pro wrestler.She should be embarrassed at her age chasing after kid’s.And you know darn well it’s all for the sex.One day she’d going wake up,the bird’s will be chirping and his young butt will be gone…I feel so sorry for Brooke and Nick.They must be so embarrassed for her.
Linda looks happy. We don’t really know what she went through with Hulk Hogan. I don”t see anything wrong with these two. Good luck to them both. He is probably really kind to her and I bet she takes really care of him.
this is so idiotic
She’s a piece a s&*%t $^!(~!!~$^*+*~)&) goldigger I hope they marry and he takes all her [i mean Hulks] money
Hahaha that kid totally worked for my mom when he was 16 and was hitting on me when I was 13.
I need to find a sugarmomma
i agree with tullies-linda DOES look happy! good for her! men have been doing this s**t for years! nobody would talk would about this if it was a 54 year old guy engaded to a 19 year old. im happy for linda and charlie and i wish them the best!
I am trying to be happy for her but can’t. It just does not seem to be a good fit. From the outside looking in – One would have to wonder if anyone in her immediate family is completely happy or even supportive of this move. Seems like I remember seeing an episode where son Nick was trying to get sister Brooke to speak to her mother. I remember seeing the Hulkster in pain. I know nothing about the high profile lifestyles, but just in every day life, I am seeing a trend of ladies not willing to work on marriages as they once did in the past. I am not saying this is the case here because only Hulk and Ms. Hulk actually know all of their own personal details.
What’s too bad is, she has destroyed her wonderful family and left a really great man to be with this “freakin ugly” dude. She has just lost her mind and really should take a sabatacle somewhere where she can get some mental health help before she makes her mistake worse. I feel just awful for that whole family.
That guy looks like he’s pushing 50. If he’s 21, he must have started snorting coke in diapers and probably had his baby-bottles filled with Jack Daniels. They both look like 2 miles of bad road with about as much common sense.
i can see this is a trainwreck in the making,shes dumb as a box of rocks.if it wasnt for her boobs and booty,guys wouldnt talk to her.
i think hulk shuld kick his $(#`@+&+*~)+~*( for general principal,anyone marrying someone older as she is,is only out for one thing…the money..
shes not a cougar,she is a mouthy tore back old woman,no brains too boot either.
This is disgusting. If my mom dated someone that is 21 (which is my age!) I wouldn’t talk to her for a LONG TIME. That is disturbing!
I’m sure she’ll be happy competing for her husband’s attention with high school and college girls. No worry’s there.
Are you kidding me, LINDSAY? Yes, men have been doing this for years and they get alot of crap over it too. This is sick because of Linda, she’s a gold digging whore and disgusting. You notice how nobody minds Katie Couric’s relationship with a younger man because she is a mature person, he is not younger than her own kids and they have been together for four years. Most of the Hogans are idiots but Linda takes the cake. They’re disgusting.
dudee she is pretty pathetic! he is probably only in for
1)publicity. because we had NEVER heard of him b4 he met linda
2)money. the will comee out of her butt as he spends ALL of it ONLY on himself!
OMG! he is her daughters friend! who knows he probably tried too go for brooke and when she said ”no!”..thats when he went too linda hogan!
1 word GROSS!
I give the marriage like 2 months
shes a creeper..
WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN?THIS WILL NEVER LAST. AS SOON AS A YOUNGER MORE STUNNING WOMAN CATCHES HIS EYE,HE”S GONE.IM SURE HE WANTS TO HAVE KIDS SOME DAY.LINDA SHOULD LOOK AT WHAT SHE IS DOING TO HER KIDS.BROOKE WON”T TALK TO HER BECAUSE SHE IS DIGUSTED BY HER MOTHERS ACTIONS .HULK IS NOT ANY BETTER, MARRYING A 20 SOMETHING GIRL
WHAT A MESS THIS FAMILY IS!