Unknown Actor Finally Gets Rid Of Hot Oscar-Winning Girlfriend

Ladies, can I get some high fives!? Stuart Townsend is back on the market after spending nine years lugging around that ol’ ball and chain Charlize Theron…and her Oscar, which is admittedly also very heavy to carry around. The Irish sex-bomb secretly split from the actress in December, during a vacation to Mexico. “‘They had become more like brother and sister than lovers,” said a source. “It was she who ended it.”

Stuart is best known for not being known at all – he’s done a bunch of movies no one has ever heard of, and was booted from The Lord Of The Rings cast after his part was given to Viggo Mortensen. Charlize is an effing idiot for letting a guy like Stuart go. What woman in her right mind doesn’t want a guy who is more like a brother to them? We’re all about relationships with less passionate public sex and more sitting on opposite ends of the couch cuddling and watching “Arrested Development” DVDs (er, or another show of Stewie’s choice, seeing as Charlize was a guest star on the critically acclaimed comedy for a few eps). Stuart, we’ll even take you on trips to Mexixo too, as long as you don’t mind the Holiday Inn!

[Photo: GettyImages]