Eva Longoria Needs A Beach Fashion Upgrade

Dear Eva Longoria,

Has marriage made you lazy? Why would you strut the paparazzi-heavy South Beach strand in such an unsexy getup? You have a fabulous body, so show it off with a sexy sheer sarong, not a frumpy blue towel. Also, what the heck is going on with that messy banana you’re eating? So not sexy! Grab a blowpop and lick that sucker while the excited photogs snap away. And please, we know it’s the beach but there is such a a thing as tinted sunblock! Get some! You don’t need a full face of makeup a la Shauna Sand - but come on, blemishes are never fashionable. What would Heidi Montag say? This is not How to be Famous! [Photos: Splash News Online]