Jon Peters’ Tell-All Proposal Leaked

Deadline Hollywood Daily has leaked the entire proposal for notorious Batman producer Jon Peters‘ upcoming tell-all, Studio Head, and it looks even more disgusting than we knew already. If the hairdresser-turned-studio exec-turned-lawsuit magnet is to be believed, he’s nailed every woman he ever wanted to—except for Elle MacPherson. “He tried everything, and, with Jon, that means everything, but he could not melt her antipodean heart.” And somehow, no one else could resist.

• Barbra Streisand: “He found Barbra totally hot. He loved her body, particularly her heretofore concealed legs and derriere, and he was overtly provocative in telling her so. What really turned him on was that he saw her becoming even hotter under his Pygmalion makeover skills.”
• Barbara Walters: “She plied Jon with champagne and caviar, then changed into ‘something comfortable,’ leaving her bedroom door strategically ajar as she stripped down to her bra and panties, giving Jon a 20-20 view, as it were, of the Barbara W in all her glory. Whether Barbara was setting a trap to get the scoop of a lifetime, or whether she was making a sincere pass, Jon didn’t snap at the bait.”

• Jack Nicholson: “Jon took Jack on a whore and drug fueled global joy ride to see the Batman sets in London that was one of the most expensive and decadent junkets in cinema history. Jon basically turned staid Claridge’s into the Playboy Mansion, with strippers, hookers, masseuses, coke dealers, and more, plus champagne and foie gras room service that put Adnan Khashogghi’s stays to shame. Jack couldn’t say no to a good time like this, and he succumbed to Jon’s relentless charms.”
• Sharon Stone: “A cyclone sexually, but a black hole where need was concerned. Warners’ deepest pockets were too shallow for the luxurious tribute to which she felt entitled. Not even Jon could turn her into the superstar she expected to be fast enough. In the end, she did it all on her own.”
• Pamela Anderson: “He thought the Barbie doll-like Canadian was perfect just as she was and did his best to dissuade her from getting breast implants and other plastic surgeries that she thought were de rigueur for stardom. This was one argument Jon could not win. More was more. He simply could not overcome Pamela’s transformational imperative. It turned out she was right. Jon stayed in love with her. Their romance lasted for years, withstanding the ego explosion that was Baywatch.

And there’s plenty more where that came from! Hopefully he hasn’t spilled everything—Peters just got $700,000 to write the thing.

Update: Due to the attention the proposal has received, Peters has declined Harper Publishing’s offer to put out Studio Head. “Somehow this proposal has become a kind of Holy Grail of gossip, and I have become Hollywood’s ‘Man Who Knows Too Much.’ I have been besieged by potential lawsuits and threatened litigation by some of the most important figures in the world of show business.” Wow—even when he’s not selling the book, he’s selling it.