10 Ways Senator Winfrey Would Have Rocked The Capitol

This morning, that shady Illinois Governer Rod Blagovjevich and his creepy head of hair informed the world that he considered giving Obama’s seat in the Senate to Oprah Winfrey.

[Cue jaw drop.]

Rod argued that Lady O was a pretty logical choice, telling Good Morning America, “She was obviously someone with a much broader bully pulpit than other senators.” Yeah, that and the obvious fact that she is effing awesome! Allow us to entertain what could have been, with our list of 10 Ways Senator Winfrey Would Have Rocked The Capitol, had she accepted Rod’s offer.

1. Every citizen would be required to join a Book Club at the age of 18.
2. The Secret would be taught in schools.
3. You get a tax break, you get a tax break, you get a tax break. Every! Body! Gets a tax break!
4. Oprah would amend the constitution to include a Live Your Best Life clause.
5. School lunches would be changed to include only protein and veggies.
6. Dr. Oz’s birthday would be made into a national holiday.
7. Suze Orman would be in charge of managing senatorial budgets.
8. Oprah would form and head up a Senatorial committee on Finding Your Spirit.
9. When stuck in Chicago filming her show, Senator O would ‘Skype in’ to hearings.
10. Citizens would be arrested for wearing jeans and bras that don’t fit their body type.

[Photo: WireImage]