Citizen Scandal: Man Gets Nine Months In Jail For Stealing Dollar Bill

Note to self: don’t steal a bag of cans and a dollar bill from a 10-year-old girl! Or rather, do steal a bag of cans and a dollar bill from a 10-year-old girl…if spending nine months in jail will be a pleasant vacation from the streets. That’s what Holly-Lyn Giannini expects prison will be for Robert W. Rowell, Jr., the homeless man who swiped her young daughter’s cash and cans outside a supermarket in Attleboro, Massachusetts.

“Jail to them is not like going to jail for anyone else. Jail to him means getting everything for free. When they are homeless and they go to jail, they get three square meals a day. Maybe he’ll find something in jail. Maybe he’ll find God or something,” Giannini told the Sun-Chronicle.

Rowell, who gets to count the three months he spent in prison awaiting trial, has yet to give his own take on the six months left to serve for scaring a little girl and robbing her of her recyclable loot. But we’re guessing it’s not “Yippee! Free room and board! As soon as they kick me out I’ll have to freak out another kid and get my ass back in this government hotel, unless I ‘find God or something.’”