Gossip Break: Jen’s Jacked And We’re Jealous

Newly married Ellen DeGeneres is a Cover Girl. Hawt. [DListed]

Matthew Broderick‘s son makes Mr. Jessica Parker much cuter. Without the kid – blegh. [Seriously? OMG!]

Oh man. Jennifer Aniston‘s gloriously ripped arms have extinguished all the pity we felt for her after Mayer gave her the boot. [Jezebel]

The adorable and funny Amy Poehler is leaving SNL for bigger and better things – like a baby! Now, now. We know it’ll be hard, but dry your tears. [Celebitchy]

The 30 Worst Autobiography Pun Titles. It hurts even more to know these are all real. [BWE.tv]

Professor Wikipedia knows everything. [CollegeHumor]

Nick Jonas turns sixteen today. Only two more years until he’s legal ladies! [MTVBuzzworthy]