Citizen Scandal: “Tickle Monster” Arrested, Banned From Park

Charles R. Douglas, a 58-year-old lawyer in Glen Carbon, Illinois, has been charged with four counts of disorderly conduct and banned from a local park. Why? Because he’s a tickle monster!

Douglas says he’s been asking parents in Miner Park if he could tickle their children for years—”a joking thing that I do”—with no complaint. Now, all of a sudden, it’s F*ck With Tickle Monster Day and everybody’s celebratin’. But what the mamas and the po-pos didn’t realize is that this Tickle Monster is also an action suit lawyer! Now he’s planning to sue the police, as well as the parents who complained about his propositions. That’ll learn ‘em! Next time a middle-aged stranger asks if he can touch their child, they’ll think twice about snitchin’! [BND]